• Re: sf

    bd

    【 在 mmzt (今年十一去哪儿呢) 的大作中提到: 】

    : 咩哈哈

    2012-05-31
  • Re: [AR JOKE][原创]#微舌尖#(18禁,未成年者请自觉退散……)

    分明是舌尖上的陈老师

    【 在 amosryan (重彩者) 的大作中提到: 】

    : # 食色,性也!央视选择那个时间播这种片儿跟睡前播一段A片有异曲同工之秒啊……

    : # 前些年,如果偶是那个修电脑的,那些照片啦视频啦就统统起介个名字:“舌尖上的女人们……”

    2012-05-25
  • 娇客杀的2011年刊 (转载)

    ˙.                                                 ˙             <>

    ‥     ˙         .                       .       ·  <>         ||╲_

    ::     .                     .˙        .  :     ‥   ||╲       | 分 

    ︰  ·            ︰       ︰           :.︰  .∵    |   \ _    | 小姨|

    .  ∶:    _        ·   _  ∴         _·  :     | 杀猪头\  || ̄╲︳

    ︰‥  ∴ ▕ \      ▕ ╲·.    ▕ ╲ ∴ ·∴    ||╲_   /   |

    :·:.∶ __╱∠      .˙∵ /____‥ ___/  /˙_.∷  .   ||   ﹨/ ╱>

    .    .\_   _\     ╱|_∠ ____  \  \_   <  │\╱\·∴ ||     ╱`<

    ╲ |\╱_╱ /\╲:. ∴\  /_/|___ |╱   /\_>▕ |/__.||   ╱    ___ __

    |╱ \|╲╲____\_|\___  〉 ∴ ╱ |\   |/__﹨˙ || ╱替天 ///\╱ \/

    │ ╱ |__╱/∠╲╲__╱  ____/____ __╱  >  __> \_ ·|╱ 行道 ╱ ︳ > <︳

    ╱  \/_/\>_|/_     _ ______ \\_╱|_ \___  〉  _|╲ __ ___╲ _OO)

    \\   |___ \ ____╱__    ̄    |>__/╱ :_|__|______〢___|__〣_|_

    _/ / ̄ |│ ∠╲|│  __╱__╲ ╱|╱│ ̄·.   ‥ .

    \╱  ·\\>|_/|∷·  \╲ _/∠   \__/|\<//\╲_____   :: ::  :::    ::

    ∴  ∴ . ‥    _|│ .˙ \_/ · .  \_︳___╱

    :: :::::::  ::: /   :: :        :  :::    ::   ::        De  2011年刊  

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――――――――――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝     -╮╭┼┼          I  < 封禁 > 发动神速,致使对方伤残,级别   ︶ I

    ║|          │  ││          |           从不能说话到生活不能自理不等    |

    ║|         -┼╭┴┼          I                                          ║|I

    ║|          ╭─╯  |       |  < 数数 > 手牌数量为猪头计算能力范围内, ║||

    ║|          ┌─┤  |       I           一般为1-3张                     _|I

    ║|         -╯╰─╯  |       |                                          |  |

    ║|                    |       I  < 小姨 > 对受到“封禁”技能攻击的人使   |║I

    ║|        ╭─╮╮    |       |           用,一般不出牌即可达到安抚对   |║|

    ║|        ╭─╮│    |       I           方的效果                       |║I

    ║|            ╯│    |       |                                          |║|

    ║|        ╰──┼╯  |       I  <  附  > 猪头2011年任务详解             |║I

    ╚|_       ╰──╯╯  |       |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗           ______|       I           (见下页)                     |║I

    |  |║     ___  __ __  ___     |                                          |║|

    I  |║    _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  _/  ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒  \_  |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║ '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║    ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    |                                       ║-01-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| 猪头2011年任务详解 |―――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝                        I ﹢娇客儿女多寂寞,爱你在心口难开         ︶ I

    ║|                            |                                           |

    ║|  ▂ ▂ ▂ ▂ ▂ ▂ ▂      I  缘起                                  ║|I

    ║|    _|     _)  |  | ╱  |                                          ║||

    ║|       |   _) _| _|  \  I  原始版本:Facebook推出暗恋功能           _|I

    ║|          ︵︵︵︵          |  听说Facebook将推出一个暗恋功能,如果你  |  |

    ║|       <-(   (  --<<<       I  暗恋某个人,标记#暗恋#,如果你暗恋的人  |║I

    ║|          ╲╱╲╱          |  正好暗恋你,系统就会发信息告诉你们两个  |║|

    ║|                            I  。社交网络能够做到如此细腻和人性化,实  |║I

    ║|            _||_            |  在让人肃然起敬。                        |║|

    ║|            ╱            I                                          |║I

    ╚|_ˋ `ˊ          ˋ` _ˊ|  娇客山寨版本:建议本版开设暗恋功能      |║|

    I╚|╗(∨ ) -          - (∨ ) I  不需要任何技术,手动即可。假如你暗恋哪  |║I

    |  |║ ╲/ ___  __ __  ___\╱  |  个ID(不限于本版),就给JOKE某指定版主  |║|

    I  |║    _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    I  发信,如果两边对上了,就通知双方。      |║I

    |  |║  _/ *⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒\_  |  (by xinghe)                          ╔ |╝|

    I  |║ '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║    ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    |                                       ║-02-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| 猪头2011年任务详解 |―――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════════════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                                                               ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝娇客儿女多寂寞,爱你在心口难开                                   ︶ I

    ║|                                                                        ╰|

    ║|      ˙                     .                    ˙                   ║|I

    ║|                                  ---   、    ︵    大家好 各位粥客好  ║||

    ║|    ·                        ╱         ╲     ) )  ·                 _|I

    ║|                            ︵            _\  -`/     俺是x****e       |  |

    ║|    .                     (>\)      _╱﹋  --'      俺准备暗恋b****r |║I

    ║|                          <︶_ノ   ╱﹋︵ -,     )                     |║|

    ║|    .                      │     / ╯  ︶  ╲  ╯)    水木大神保佑!  |║I

    ║|                         _  \   ∕ ∕/︳    ﹨︶ `     星河大神保佑!  |║|

    ║|     .             _ ╱﹋ /\,_|  ||-       |        .               |║I

    ╚|_               ╱﹋`   ∕  ︶` )_ -、   |   |╲                       |║|

    I╚|╗  ·        /        | |-     丿╮╲/-︶       ·                 |║I

    |  |║    ﹒     /         ︳|/        ╲            ﹒                   |║|

    I  |║           ︳       │            /                                 |║I

    |  |║       ˙            \           | ̄        ˙                   ╔ |╝|

    I  |║          ˙                             ˙                      ║_|  I

    |  |║                                                                 ║-03-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| 猪头2011年任务详解 |―――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝   ___  ︵            |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝   ╱   \(__╱\/︳      I ﹢星河娇客遇明主,肝脑涂地灭特快         ︶ I

    ║|      /   - |_」-   |       |                                           |

    ║| G  (__︶ ⊥ ︶ )│      I  缘起                                  ║|I

    ║|      ╲_| _╱╲_ (╱       |                                          ║||

    ║| vs.   ╱_ˋ〉〈ˊ_╲       I  原始版本:谷歌收购摩托罗拉               _|I

    ║|       \__)/    \(__/       |  谷歌的CEO拉里·佩奇坐在办公椅上边吃巧   |  |

    ║| M    |  -╮  ╭-  |       I  克力豆,边和下属视频会议,说道:“公司  |║I

    ║|         ̄ ̄     ̄ ̄        |  缺少手机,买个摩托罗拉吧。”            |║|

    ║|            _||_            I  15分钟后,有人在视频那头传话,“摩托罗  |║I

    ║|     ___  _ ╱___         |  拉买下了。”                            |║|

    ║|     \╱-'/    /   ╲  娇客 I  拉里问道:“什么型号的?”              |║I

    ╚|_   - |_  _|- *  \      |  下属:“啊?型号?…型号?”            |║|

    I╚|╗│   ︶(0||_︶  ) │ vs. I  (zz by finalMVP)                        |║I

    |  |║ ╲   _3  ╲_  ,╱      |                                          |║|

    I  |║  ╱__ 〉  〈ˊ_╲  特快 I  娇客山寨版本:娇客收购特快              |║I

    |  |║  \_|</      \(__/       |  目前,特快风雨飘摇,各版无不觊觎。据 ╔ |╝|

    I  |║  |  |>     ╭-  |       I  说一支被称为“家版大妈军”的部队已开 ║_|  I

    |  |║    ̄         ̄ ̄        |                                       ║-04-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| 猪头2011年任务详解 |―――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝   ___  ︵            |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝   ╱   \(__╱\/︳      I  (接上页)                                ︶ I

    ║|      /   - |_」-   |       |  入特快,我版如不及早动手,恐将难分杯羹! ╰|

    ║| G  (__︶ ⊥ ︶ )│      I  是以河特请命前往接管,望愿从者响应!    ║|I

    ║|      ╲_| _╱╲_ (╱       |  现在,是我们捐弃前嫌的时候了!          ║||

    ║| vs.   ╱_ˋ〉〈ˊ_╲       I  (by xinghe)                              _|I

    ║|       \__)/    \(__/       |                                          |  |

    ║| M    |  -╮  ╭-  |       I  我们掷杯为号,里应外合!                |║I

    ║|         ̄ ̄     ̄ ̄        |  特快平定之日,便是前嫌冰释之时!        |║|

    ║|            _||_            I  届时无论出相入将还是放马南山,唯君命是  |║I

    ║|     ___  _ ╱___         |  从~~~                     (by cu0)      |║|

    ║|     \╱-'/    /   ╲  娇客 I                                          |║I

    ╚|_   - |_  _|- *  \      |  警署警长搓搓坐在办公椅上边吃巧克力豆,  |║|

    I╚|╗│   ︶(0||_︶  ) │ vs. I  边和下属zt开会,说道:「版面缺少文章,  |║I

    |  |║ ╲   _3  ╲_  ,╱      |  去特快看看合并一些来。」15分钟后,有人  |║|

    I  |║  ╱__ 〉  〈ˊ_╲  特快 I  在视频那头传话,「特快合并过来了。」    |║I

    |  |║  \_|</      \(__/       |  搓搓问道,「哪些文章号?」下属:「啊 ╔ |╝|

    I  |║  |  |>     ╭-  |       I  ?文章号?文章号?」      (by KPI)   ║_|  I

    |  |║    ̄         ̄ ̄        |                                       ║-05-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| 猪头2011年任务详解 |―――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝                        I ﹢但使万千水车在,Come on 小姨 Don't     ︶ I

    *▁                         |   be shy                                  |

    ║|||       ◢◣             I                                          ║|I

    ║| ▔*    ◥◤◢◣           |  - 某天,小姨抛绣球征驸马,版面立刻一片  ║||

    ║|     ※◢◤◥◤◢◣         I    血雨腥风。。。                         _|I

    ║|     ◣◢◤◢◤◥◣       | ___________________________________      |  |

    ║|   ◥◤◢◣◢◤◢◤◢◣     I \♁                              ♁╲    |║I

    ║| ◤◥◤◢◣◥◤◥◤◢◣   | │  这位水车,报上名来 m**t          \   |║|

    ║| ◢◤◢◤◥◣◢◤◥◤◥◣ I  ︳ 籍贯何处 joke                     ︳ |║I

    ║|   ◢◤◢◤◢◣◢◤◢◤◤ |  |    看上俺家哪位 b****r             |  |║|

    ║|     ◥◤◥◤◢◣◥◤◤   I  │   看上她哪点 三点都看上了         │ |║I

    ╚|_      ◢◤◥◤◥◣◤     |   |     亲爱的猪,你要对她说:         |║|

    I╚|╗      ◢◤◢◤※     I   │    从今之后我发誓嫁给我吧!       |║I

    |  |║        ◥◤◤    ┐    |      就让xinghe大神见证我们的爱  __||║|

    I  |║          ◥◤          │     情吧,我会永远对他说:y!    ︳/|║I

    |  |║                    *     |_________________________________|/ |╝|

    I  |║                          ◣                                     _|  I

    |  |║                                                             ║-06-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――――――――――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝    ╭───╮          I  < 歪吸 > 能歪能吸乃真正法器!尔等敢应   ︶ I

    ║|        │╭                |           战否?凡出此牌,均可被猪头亲    |

    ║|        │├──╮          I           密地摸一次                     ║|I

    ║|        ╰╰──╮  |       |                                          ║||

    ║|        ╰───│  |       I  < 被摸 > 此技能以x以e多多益善,哪个猪    _|I

    ║|          ──╯  |       |           头来和我大摸三百回合!         |  |

    ║|                    |       I                                          |║I

    ║|        ╭──┬╮  |       |                                          |║|

    ║|              │    |       I              ‐-—╱`>- 、               |║I

    ║|        ╭──┼╮  |       |           ╱  ,_╱ ╱    ╲              |║|

    ║|        ╭──┼╮  |       I         ╱  ╱╱ ╱╲ _    ╲            |║I

    ╚|_         ─╯    |       |        /  ╱╱ ╱ _  /       ╲          |║|

    I╚|╗           ______|       I       /〉/,︿、 ∕  /                    |║I

    |  |║                         |     ▕/ˊ ╲> ˋ-—ˋ                    |║|

    I  |║                         I       ╱ ╱|╲____                       |║I

    |  |║                         |     ╱ ╱_/\_/╯   ̄ˉ                ╔ |╝|

    I  |║                         I    /\╱                               ║_|  I

    |  |║                         |     ̄                                 ║-07-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| Jagbin |―――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃       |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝   _|| ||┤┃ |\▏  I  < 红钻 > 为小红钻石而奋斗!回合开始后   ︶ I

    ║|              ̄  ̄  ̄       |           可判定,若非小红钻石,继续发    |

    ║|          __    __          I           动原创,如此反复,直到出现小   ║|I

    ║| 小      /_ ╲∕_ \ /︳     |           红钻石为止。                   ║||

    ║|         \\| /||/_╱╱|     I                                           _|I

    ║| 紅   ▕\/∟ ̄   ﹨   /     |  < 国色 > 使用此技能,即将警察哥、小萝   |  |

    ║|      ∠︹<       ˋ-<      I           莉等人手牌尽收囊中。           |║I

    ║| 鉆    /  |\ˇ\   _ \     |                                          |║|

    ║|      │|/-- ╲_/ |     I                                          |║I

    ║|       \︳")  |")  ) ︵     |                                          |║|

    ║|        、 `   \>'    I                                          |║I

    ╚|_ ˋ╲  |╲_- __╱ _ˊ|     |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗  \|/ ˋ ﹨\ |     I                                          |║I

    |  |║   |\   \_|/ ︳    |                                          |║|

    I  |║     ﹨╲ ||)/,- _/      I                                          |║I

    |  |║       /`-_/  ︳       |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       `╲__ _|        I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║       /|  \﹨       |                                       ║-08-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| Jagbin |―――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃       |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝   _|| ||┤┃ |\▏  I ﹢也说一个在春运火车上的事情             ︶ I

    ║|              ̄  ̄  ̄       |                                           |

    ║|          __    __          I  几年前的春运某次回家,我坐两人座位的窗  ║|I

    ║| 小      /_ ╲∕_ \ /︳     |  边,一个女生坐我旁边。我喜欢看窗外,就  ║||

    ║|         \\| /||/_╱╱|     I  一直看,结果发车后一两个小时都没说话。   _|I

    ║| 紅   ▕\/∟ ̄   ﹨   /     |  这时,我突然斜眼一看,此MM正在看短信。  |  |

    ║|      ∠︹<       ˋ-<      I  写的是:“你车上感觉怎么样?”,就听见  |║I

    ║| 鉆    /  |\ˇ\   _ \     |  她啪啪啪一阵不耐烦地乱按,我很好奇,就  |║|

    ║|      │|/-- ╲_/ |     I  又瞥了一眼,结果此M写的是:“这次旁边   |║I

    ║|       \︳")  |")  ) ︵     |  坐了个木头。一直不说话,怎么办啊?”我  |║|

    ║|        、 `   \>'    I  有点小不爽,还是没说话。                |║I

    ╚|_ ˋ╲  |╲_- __╱ _ˊ|     |  过了一个小时,我突然对此M说:“你……” |║|

    I╚|╗  \|/ ˋ ﹨\ |     I  。她转过头噼里啪啦说:“哦,我是XX大学  |║I

    |  |║   |\   \_|/ ︳    |  的,学XX的,你呢?你学什么的啊”        |║|

    I  |║     ﹨╲ ||)/,- _/      I  我说:“你能不能让一下,我去厕所……”  |║I

    |  |║       /`-_/  ︳       |  我是真的想去厕所的说。               ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       `╲__ _|        I  然后一行20多小时,此M一直没有说话。  ║_|  I

    |  |║       /|  \﹨       |                                       ║-09-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| Jagbin |―――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃       |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝   _|| ||┤┃ |\▏  I ﹢火车上遇到的收放自如彪悍大叔           ︶ I

    ║|              ̄  ̄  ̄       |                                           |

    ║|          __    __          I  某次夏天回北京的火车上,上厕所的人排队  ║|I

    ║| 小      /_ ╲∕_ \ /︳     |  很长。我后面是一个30来岁的壮汉大叔。前  ║||

    ║|         \\| /||/_╱╱|     I  面一个人出来的时候,我就进去了。刚准备   _|I

    ║| 紅   ▕\/∟ ̄   ﹨   /     |  关门,没想到此大叔也夺门而入。小小的厕  |  |

    ║|      ∠︹<       ˋ-<      I  所一下子有点挤不下了。                  |║I

    ║| 鉆    /  |\ˇ\   _ \     |  我一下子警觉的说:“你做什么啊!”      |║|

    ║|      │|/-- ╲_/ |     I  大叔说:等很久,憋不住了,一起上吧。    |║I

    ║|       \︳")  |")  ) ︵     |  我的世界观被彻底颠覆,对他大嚷道:“上  |║|

    ║|        、 `   \>'    I  厕所也有个先来后到啊!”                |║I

    ╚|_ ˋ╲  |╲_- __╱ _ˊ|     |  他一边解裤带一边说:“怕啥,都是男人啊  |║|

    I╚|╗  \|/ ˋ ﹨\ |     I  。”然后他居然就开始嘘嘘了……          |║I

    |  |║   |\   \_|/ ︳    |  我就惊愕地看着他。突然他看了我一眼,说  |║|

    I  |║     ﹨╲ ||)/,- _/      I  :“算了,你人年轻脸皮薄,一会该说我    |║I

    |  |║       /`-_/  ︳       |  耍流氓了,你先来吧。”说完,刹那间, ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       `╲__ _|        I  他的小便戛然而止,又穿上裤带出去了。 ║_|  I

    |  |║       /|  \﹨       |                                       ║-10-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| Jagbin |―――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃       |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝   _|| ||┤┃ |\▏  I  (接上页)                                ︶ I

    ║|              ̄  ̄  ̄       |  我在里面惊恐万分地上完厕所后,出门。他   |

    ║|          __    __          I  看着我笑了一下,说:“这回该我了。”然  ║|I

    ║| 小      /_ ╲∕_ \ /︳     |  后就进去把刚才没有完成的全部嘘嘘了。    ║||

    ║|         \\| /||/_╱╱|     I  无比佩服此大叔如此的收放自如啊!其实当   _|I

    ║| 紅   ▕\/∟ ̄   ﹨   /     |  时他就在里面嘘嘘完就行了,我也没说啥啊  |  |

    ║|      ∠︹<       ˋ-<      I  。没必要这样的。                        |║I

    ║| 鉆    /  |\ˇ\   _ \     |  顺便说一句,我发的都是我亲历的真事。这  |║|

    ║|      │|/-- ╲_/ |     I  个如果都还没有小红钻石,我的世界观就被  |║I

    ║|       \︳")  |")  ) ︵     |  彻底颠覆了。                            |║|

    ║|        、 `   \>'    I                                          |║I

    ╚|_ ˋ╲  |╲_- __╱ _ˊ|     |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗  \|/ ˋ ﹨\ |     I                                          |║I

    |  |║   |\   \_|/ ︳    |                                          |║|

    I  |║     ﹨╲ ||)/,- _/      I                                          |║I

    |  |║       /`-_/  ︳       |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       `╲__ _|        I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║       /|  \﹨       |                                       ║-11-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| Jagbin |―――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃       |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝   _|| ||┤┃ |\▏  I ﹢高中老师在聚会上的彪悍语录             ︶ I

    ║|              ̄  ̄  ̄       |                                           |

    ║|          __    __          I  某次高中同学聚会,以下是其中老师的彪悍  ║|I

    ║| 小      /_ ╲∕_ \ /︳     |  语录。                                  ║||

    ║|         \\| /||/_╱╱|     I  语文老师是个热心大妈——得知班上曾经自   _|I

    ║| 紅   ▕\/∟ ̄   ﹨   /     |  己最喜欢的语文科代表(女生)已经结婚了  |  |

    ║|      ∠︹<       ˋ-<      I  ,她说:怎么这么快啊?生怕自己嫁不出去  |║I

    ║| 鉆    /  |\ˇ\   _ \     |  似的。尽管这样的担心不无道理,从你高一  |║|

    ║|      │|/-- ╲_/ |     I  的时候我也在担心…此女生掩面内奔…      |║I

    ║|       \︳")  |")  ) ︵     |  数学老师对我说:以前每次改你数学卷子,  |║|

    ║|        、 `   \>'    I  都有种想用它擤鼻涕,擤完鼻涕晾干了再发  |║I

    ╚|_ ˋ╲  |╲_- __╱ _ˊ|     |  给你的冲动。…我想问老师,你擤过没啊…  |║|

    I╚|╗  \|/ ˋ ﹨\ |     I  物理老师对一成绩较差的男生说:别以为我  |║I

    |  |║   |\   \_|/ ︳    |  不知道你考试通过右手左手法则和谁谁传信  |║|

    I  |║     ﹨╲ ||)/,- _/      I  号递答案,我其实每次都想,一个判断受力  |║I

    |  |║       /`-_/  ︳       |  方向电流方向都要用怎么久的人,作弊也 ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       `╲__ _|        I  不会怎样!全场稍微冷了下,然后爆笑… ║_|  I

    |  |║       /|  \﹨       |                                       ║-12-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| yutourr  |――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝     __ _     _   _   |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ |_||_|│|_||_||-< |-<  I  < 剁交 > 职业水车技,发动剁交后,所有   ︶ I

    ║|     ╱                     |           娇客势力女性角色依次选择是否    |

    ║|     ︶   ︵        ╱︳    I           接受鱼头翻牌,直到有一名角色   ║|I

    ║| 魚      (  )     ╱      |           或没有角色决定如此作时为止。   ║||

    ║|      ︶   ___          I                                           _|I

    ║| 頭   ╰╯   _/︵ [\        |  < 冷藏 > 发动此技能后,其他角色体温跌   |  |

    ║|      ○    /_︶_ \|_>      I           至绝对零度以下,直接禁手并送   |║I

    ║| 哥    o  ╱_   ̄ ╲ ︳     |           小黑屋由小姨急救。             |║|

    ║|         () \) )|\>_    I                                          |║I

    ║|    /|╱ > ︶ ▕ )╲/    |                                          |║|

    ║|  _\╱ ╲___ ╱`-<        I                                          |║I

    ╚|_ \`/> \ˊ`        `\      |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗︶      \ /        |︶/╰I                                          |║I

    |  |║||  |/|__    |  │   ╱|                                          |║|

    I  |║||  | >-  --╭,\|  ヽ___(I                                          |║I

    |  |║\|  | `\\_   `\  \  \  |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║ ﹨_| | `-╲_  ╲╲_╲/  I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║      ︳  \_<  |     ̄   |                                       ║-13-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| yutourr  |――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝     __ _     _   _   |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ |_||_|│|_||_||-< |-<  I ﹢白雪公主                               ︶ I

    ║|     ╱                     |                                           |

    ║|     ︶   ︵        ╱︳    I  白雪公主逃出王宫,找到一个人问:请问怎  ║|I

    ║| 魚      (  )     ╱      |  么才能找到七个小人。好心人给她指明道路  ║||

    ║|      ︶   ___          I  。于是她来到森林,看到一间小木屋,里面   _|I

    ║| 頭   ╰╯   _/︵ [\        |  排列着七张小小的床。白雪公主就躺下睡着  |  |

    ║|      ○    /_︶_ \|_>      I  了。傍晚七个小人回来了,白雪公主说:“  |║I

    ║| 哥    o  ╱_   ̄ ╲ ︳     |  你们就是我命中的七个小矮人吧。”七个人  |║|

    ║|         () \) )|\>_    I  面面相觑,然后说:“你走错地方了,我们  |║I

    ║|    /|╱ > ︶ ▕ )╲/    |  是葫芦娃。”                            |║|

    ║|  _\╱ ╲___ ╱`-<        I                                          |║I

    ╚|_ \`/> \ˊ`        `\      | ﹢黑丝                                   |║|

    I╚|╗︶      \ /        |︶/╰I                                          |║I

    |  |║||  |/|__    |  │   ╱|  某男控黑丝,偶获穿越机会,告之曰:“愿  |║|

    I  |║||  | >-  --╭,\|  ヽ___(I  有黑丝,日日相伴。”白光闪现,穿越完成  |║I

    |  |║\|  | `\\_   `\  \  \  |  ,睁眼一看眼前一条黑汉子喜道:“醒了 ╔ |╝|

    I  |║ ﹨_| | `-╲_  ╲╲_╲/  I  。”旁边一众男子哈哈大笑:“你这黑厮 ║_|  I

    |  |║      ︳  \_<  |     ̄   |  ,对公明哥哥真是忠心不二。”         ║-14-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| yutourr  |――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝     __ _     _   _   |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ |_||_|│|_||_||-< |-<  I ﹢毛新宇讲座                             ︶ I

    ║|     ╱                     |                                           |

    ║|     ︶   ︵        ╱︳    I  毛新宇近日以客座教授身份,担任了广州大  ║|I

    ║| 魚      (  )     ╱      |  学一新生班兼职班主任。据微博透露,毛新  ║||

    ║|      ︶   ___          I  宇在首次班会上做讲座时,校方通知:谁笑   _|I

    ║| 頭   ╰╯   _/︵ [\        |  就开除谁。在首次班会课上,毛新宇看大家  |  |

    ║|      ○    /_︶_ \|_>      I  神情比较严肃,于是说道:“我先讲个笑话  |║I

    ║| 哥    o  ╱_   ̄ ╲ ︳     |  ,缓解一下大家的情绪。”                |║|

    ║|         () \) )|\>_    I                                          |║I

    ║|    /|╱ > ︶ ▕ )╲/    | ﹢老子讲“道”                           |║|

    ║|  _\╱ ╲___ ╱`-<        I                                          |║I

    ╚|_ \`/> \ˊ`        `\      |  “道可道,非常道,你心中所追求之物、牵  |║|

    I╚|╗︶      \ /        |︶/╰I  挂之物、执着之物,就是你的道。有人痴情  |║I

    |  |║||  |/|__    |  │   ╱|  一生,修得便是痴情道;有人至孝,修得便  |║|

    I  |║||  | >-  --╭,\|  ヽ___(I  是孝道;有人嗜杀戮,修得就是杀戮道。”  |║I

    |  |║\|  | `\\_   `\  \  \  |  老子转而问一个少年:“少年,你追求的 ╔ |╝|

    I  |║ ﹨_| | `-╲_  ╲╲_╲/  I  是什么?”“考上一本。”“一本道,” ║_|  I

    |  |║      ︳  \_<  |     ̄   |  老子慈祥的说。                       ║-15-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| yutourr  |――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝     __ _     _   _   |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ |_||_|│|_||_||-< |-<  I ﹢桃园结义                               ︶ I

    ║|     ╱                     |                                           |

    ║|     ︶   ︵        ╱︳    I  桃园,刘关张歃血为盟。刘备:今日和两位  ║|I

    ║| 魚      (  )     ╱      |  英雄结为异姓兄弟,有福同享,有难同当。  ║||

    ║|      ︶   ___          I  然后扎破指尖,把血滴进酒里。关羽大笑:   _|I

    ║| 頭   ╰╯   _/︵ [\        |  理当如此。接过酒杯,扎破指尖,滴血入酒  |  |

    ║|      ○    /_︶_ \|_>      I  。张飞接过酒杯,看了一会,高兴的大喊:  |║I

    ║| 哥    o  ╱_   ̄ ╲ ︳     |  溶了!大哥,二哥,你们的血溶了!        |║|

    ║|         () \) )|\>_    I                                          |║I

    ║|    /|╱ > ︶ ▕ )╲/    | ﹢西毒北丐                               |║|

    ║|  _\╱ ╲___ ╱`-<        I                                          |║I

    ╚|_ \`/> \ˊ`        `\      |  欧阳锋父子将洪七公郭靖黄蓉围在山洞里出  |║|

    I╚|╗︶      \ /        |︶/╰I  不来,欧阳父子也进不去。黄蓉说:“七公  |║I

    |  |║||  |/|__    |  │   ╱|  ,你写个:要老叫化屈服,没门。贴在洞口  |║|

    I  |║||  | >-  --╭,\|  ヽ___(I  ,激励斗志。”七公然之。次日欧阳克看到  |║I

    |  |║\|  | `\\_   `\  \  \  |  ,大怒:叔叔,原来你跑到这儿是来搞基 ╔ |╝|

    I  |║ ﹨_| | `-╲_  ╲╲_╲/  I  的。欧阳锋说没啊,欧阳克说:还没有, ║_|  I

    |  |║      ︳  \_<  |     ̄   |  你看老叫化写的:想要老叫化屁股,没门 ║-16-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| SundayMore |―――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝▃        _ ▁        |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝  ╲ |_||\||_)||_︳   I  < 真国色 > 出牌阶段,你可以将任何其他   ︶ I

    ║|      ▔    _  _   _┌│    |             角色的恨嫁、逼婚言论当“乐    |

    ║|       |\/||_||-< |- ▔     I             不思蜀”使用。               ║|I

    ║|          _     _ ▔        |                                          ║||

    ║|          >`︿-'<  ╲       I  < 标点爸 > 锁定技,你的所有与老爸有关    _|I

    ║|        /∕ ̄   ̄╲  ﹨     |             牌均视为带有萌蜀黍属性。     |  |

    ║|        ︳/_\|╲_\╲  |     I                                          |║I

    ║|        \|_▁  _▁ |  |     |  < 毒舌男 > 此技能可使其他角色均失去一   |║|

    ║|        | (')  (') │||     I             点体力,同时失去自身全部人   |║I

    ║|        ﹨︳ 、   ▕/∕     |             品和体力。                   |║|

    ║|          ╲_- __╱_        I                                          |║I

    ╚|_         -<` /∠__>,      |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗      /`/╲'  \      I                                          |║I

    |  |║     _\|><_\|︳    |                                          |║|

    I  |║      \'_'/  |     I                                          |║I

    |  |║      ( '}-<︷\ ▕     |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       <_> ︳╲│    I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║        │ |/\   \︳   |                                       ║-17-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| SundayMore |―――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝▃        _ ▁        |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝  ╲ |_||\||_)||_︳   I ﹢大龄剩女的标点爸,伤不起               ︶ I

    ║|      ▔    _  _   _┌│    |                                           |

    ║|       |\/||_||-< |- ▔     I  大龄剩女悠然自得,家有老爸忧心如焚,时  ║|I

    ║|          _     _ ▔        |  刻不忘刺激闺女,处处带刺哭笑不得。      ║||

    ║|          >`︿-'<  ╲       I                                           _|I

    ║|        /∕ ̄   ̄╲  ﹨     |  ———————背景分割线———————  |  |

    ║|        ︳/_\|╲_\╲  |     I                                          |║I

    ║|        \|_▁  _▁ |  |     |  上周回家过周末,下午独自去了外婆家。    |║|

    ║|        | (')  (') │||     I  爸爸发来短信,问:你在哪?              |║I

    ║|        ﹨︳ 、   ▕/∕     |  我:在外婆家。                          |║|

    ║|          ╲_- __╱_        I  爸爸:啥时候改成:‘在外,婆家’就好    |║I

    ╚|_         -<` /∠__>,      |  了……                                  |║|

    I╚|╗      /`/╲'  \      I  标点爸,伤不起……π_π                 |║I

    |  |║     _\|><_\|︳    |                                          |║|

    I  |║      \'_'/  |     I                                          |║I

    |  |║      ( '}-<︷\ ▕     |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       <_> ︳╲│    I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║        │ |/\   \︳   |                                       ║-18-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| SundayMore |―――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝▃        _ ▁        |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝  ╲ |_||\||_)||_︳   I ﹢问年龄                                 ︶ I

    ║|      ▔    _  _   _┌│    |                                           |

    ║|       |\/||_||-< |- ▔     I  部门招了个小mm,脸嫩,肯定是85后,具体  ║|I

    ║|          _     _ ▔        |  哪一年不是很清楚。                      ║||

    ║|          >`︿-'<  ╲       I  毒舌男同事问:mm你哪一年的?             _|I

    ║|        /∕ ̄   ̄╲  ﹨     |  大家纷纷说:哪有你这样的,太直白了吧,  |  |

    ║|        ︳/_\|╲_\╲  |     I  女孩子的年龄不要随便打听                |║I

    ║|        \|_▁  _▁ |  |     |  毒舌男,顿了顿,说:“好吧,呃,那mm你  |║|

    ║|        | (')  (') │||     I  出生那年开始搞改革开放了吗?”          |║I

    ║|        ﹨︳ 、   ▕/∕     |                                          |║|

    ║|          ╲_- __╱_        I  - -!                                   |║I

    ╚|_         -<` /∠__>,      |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗      /`/╲'  \      I  大家都很无语,尤其是几个70年代的,低沉  |║I

    |  |║     _\|><_\|︳    |  而恶狠狠地发出了一个音:靠              |║|

    I  |║      \'_'/  |     I                                          |║I

    |  |║      ( '}-<︷\ ▕     |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       <_> ︳╲│    I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║        │ |/\   \︳   |                                       ║-19-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| SundayMore |―――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝▃        _ ▁        |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝  ╲ |_||\||_)||_︳   I ﹢深圳是个好地方                         ︶ I

    ║|      ▔    _  _   _┌│    |                                           |

    ║|       |\/||_||-< |- ▔     I  我们有个主持人,年假去了巴黎度假。      ║|I

    ║|          _     _ ▔        |  在卢浮宫拍了照片,发在了自己微博上。    ║||

    ║|          >`︿-'<  ╲       I  结果她有一粉丝这么给她留言的:           _|I

    ║|        /∕ ̄   ̄╲  ﹨     |  哇,你又去世界之窗了啊?你们深圳的人好  |  |

    ║|        ︳/_\|╲_\╲  |     I  幸福啊,时不时就能去一次世界之窗玩      |║I

    ║|        \|_▁  _▁ |  |     |                                          |║|

    ║|        | (')  (') │||     I  大家都很无语。。。                      |║I

    ║|        ﹨︳ 、   ▕/∕     |                                          |║|

    ║|          ╲_- __╱_        I                                          |║I

    ╚|_         -<` /∠__>,      |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗      /`/╲'  \      I                                          |║I

    |  |║     _\|><_\|︳    |                                          |║|

    I  |║      \'_'/  |     I                                          |║I

    |  |║      ( '}-<︷\ ▕     |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       <_> ︳╲│    I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║        │ |/\   \︳   |                                       ║-20-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| lyklykkkkkkk |――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝                        I  < 原创 > 每使用此技能,即视为一次笑点。 ︶ I

    ║| __                         |                                           |

    ║||       /)  (|  _     ╱> I                                          ║|I

    ║|  | ╮   |﹀'>ˊ /| \ ╱  |  < 宅男 > 对每位技术宅男角色造成伤害。   ║||

    ║|   ▔   ▕ ╱   _╲V/     I                                           _|I

    ║|  |_︳    /_ ̄  ▔                                                 |  |

    ║| ╭│      (    ╲_  _/ /))                                          |║I

    ║|  ▔_       |\  `-.-'︳⌒ )                                         |║|

    ║|  |/        | ╲ ╱\︶                                           |║I

    ║|  |╲╮   ╱ \     ︶ ╲    |                                          |║|

    ║|    ▔ <_ˊ \         \   I                                          |║I

    ╚|_     `'  \  ╲,       ︳ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗︿<╱     |-   ╲ __ _|  I                                          |║I

    |  __╱')╮   ╱   __    ﹨  |                                          |║|

    \    /    _\╯ |    ╲  _|  I                                          |║I

    /\_/   /    ╰-︿╯       ╲ \ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    ︳   ╱                     ︶ I                                       ║_|  I

    \__╱                          |                                       ║-21-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| lyklykkkkkkk |――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝                        I ﹢搜索引擎聊天                           ︶ I

    ║| __                         |                                           |

    ║||       /)  (|  _     ╱> I  谷歌:I'm google~ If you wanna know me  ║|I

    ║|  | ╮   |﹀'>ˊ /| \ ╱  |  , just google~                          ║||

    ║|   ▔   ▕ ╱   _╲V/     I  百度:I'm baidu~ If you wanna know me,   _|I

    ║|  |_︳    /_ ̄  ▔          just baidu~                            |  |

    ║| ╭│      (    ╲_  _/ /))  搜搜(心里骂这群王八蛋):你们聊,我先  |║I

    ║|  ▔_       |\  `-.-'︳⌒ ) 走了。                                  |║|

    ║|  |/        | ╲ ╱\︶                                           |║I

    ║|  |╲╮   ╱ \     ︶ ╲    |                                          |║|

    ║|    ▔ <_ˊ \         \   I                                          |║I

    ╚|_     `'  \  ╲,       ︳ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗︿<╱     |-   ╲ __ _|  I                                          |║I

    |  __╱')╮   ╱   __    ﹨  |                                          |║|

    \    /    _\╯ |    ╲  _|  I                                          |║I

    /\_/   /    ╰-︿╯       ╲ \ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    ︳   ╱                     ︶ I                                       ║_|  I

    \__╱                          |                                       ║-22-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| lyklykkkkkkk |――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝                        I ﹢被打了一顿                             ︶ I

    ║| __                         |                                           |

    ║||       /)  (|  _     ╱> I  和女友在百脑汇卖场溜达,她接了个电话,  ║|I

    ║|  | ╮   |﹀'>ˊ /| \ ╱  |  卖场太吵,总是听不清对方说什么。        ║||

    ║|   ▔   ▕ ╱   _╲V/     I  我跟她说,戴耳机吧。                     _|I

    ║|  |_︳    /_ ̄  ▔         她没听清。                              |  |

    ║| ╭│      (    ╲_  _/ /))  我就提高音量重复一遍,戴耳机吧。        |║I

    ║|  ▔_       |\  `-.-'︳⌒ ) 然后附近戴尔电脑的柜台那边冲出一群人,  |║|

    ║|  |/        | ╲ ╱\︶   把我揍了一顿。                          |║I

    ║|  |╲╮   ╱ \     ︶ ╲    |                                          |║|

    ║|    ▔ <_ˊ \         \   I                                          |║I

    ╚|_     `'  \  ╲,       ︳ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗︿<╱     |-   ╲ __ _|  I                                          |║I

    |  __╱')╮   ╱   __    ﹨  |                                          |║|

    \    /    _\╯ |    ╲  _|  I                                          |║I

    /\_/   /    ╰-︿╯       ╲ \ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    ︳   ╱                     ︶ I                                       ║_|  I

    \__╱                          |                                       ║-23-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| lyklykkkkkkk |――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝                        I ﹢你愿意吗?                             ︶ I

    ║| __                         |                                           |

    ║||       /)  (|  _     ╱> I  在我还不知道什么是宅男的时候,我有一个  ║|I

    ║|  | ╮   |﹀'>ˊ /| \ ╱  |  宅男朋友,叫R,他家住五楼,通过各种偷   ║||

    ║|   ▔   ▕ ╱   _╲V/     I  窥,看中对面楼里新搬来的一MM。           _|I

    ║|  |_︳    /_ ̄  ▔         在我撺掇之下,他准备了喇叭,要告白。    |  |

    ║| ╭│      (    ╲_  _/ /))  现在那个MM在窗前,好机会啊。但就像你身  |║I

    ║|  ▔_       |\  `-.-'︳⌒ ) 边闷骚宅男一样,R真遇到事儿也畏缩。     |║|

    ║|  |/        | ╲ ╱\︶   我不住地给他鼓劲,他终于大声喊道:“对  |║I

    ║|  |╲╮   ╱ \     ︶ ╲    |  面的同学,你愿意和我交个朋友吗?”      |║|

    ║|    ▔ <_ˊ \         \   I  我们激动地看着对面,MM说了什么,但她没  |║I

    ╚|_     `'  \  ╲,       ︳ |  喇叭,嗓门也没那么大,听不到啊……      |║|

    I╚|╗︿<╱     |-   ╲ __ _|  I  但是宅男有宅男的办法,R灵机一动,喊道: |║I

    |  __╱')╮   ╱   __    ﹨  |  “要是愿意,就挥一下手,要是不愿意,就  |║|

    \    /    _\╯ |    ╲  _|  I  挥两下。”                              |║I

    /\_/   /    ╰-︿╯       ╲ \ |  我们更加激动地看着对面,MM挥了一下手 ╔ |╝|

    ︳   ╱                     ︶ I  !!!                               ║_|  I

    \__╱                          |  等等…                               ║-24-|

    |  ―【Clan1.猪头 & 写手】― | ――| lyklykkkkkkk |――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝                        I  (续上页)                                ︶ I

    ║| __                         |  她又挥了一下。。。                       |

    ║||       /)  (|  _     ╱> I  我默然。                                ║|I

    ║|  | ╮   |﹀'>ˊ /| \ ╱  |  可是只见R兴高采烈地边跳边说,           ║||

    ║|   ▔   ▕ ╱   _╲V/     I  “哇,她说,‘愿意,愿意’!”           _|I

    ║|  |_︳    /_ ̄  ▔         我悄悄退散。。。                        |  |

    ║| ╭│      (    ╲_  _/ /))  让宅男开心一会儿吧……                  |║I

    ║|  ▔_       |\  `-.-'︳⌒ )                                         |║|

    ║|  |/        | ╲ ╱\︶                                           |║I

    ║|  |╲╮   ╱ \     ︶ ╲    |                                          |║|

    ║|    ▔ <_ˊ \         \   I                                          |║I

    ╚|_     `'  \  ╲,       ︳ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗︿<╱     |-   ╲ __ _|  I                                          |║I

    |  __╱')╮   ╱   __    ﹨  |                                          |║|

    \    /    _\╯ |    ╲  _|  I                                          |║I

    /\_/   /    ╰-︿╯       ╲ \ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    ︳   ╱                     ︶ I                                       ║_|  I

    \__╱                          |                                       ║-25-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――――――――――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝          ╮            I  < 黄花鱼 > 鱼纲石首鱼科的脊椎动物,可   ︶ I

    ║|        ╭─╮│╮          |             食,肉质鲜美,该技能可通杀    |

    ║|            │││          I             文科生玩家。使用方式如下:   ║|I

    ║|            ││╯  |       |                                          ║||

    ║|        ╭─╯├╮  |       I     ╲P3,s3  P4,s4╱μ   time         _|I

    ║|        ╰─╯╯╯  |       |       ↖︵  ︵α︵  ↗        ↑         |  |

    ║|                    |       I       ↗  ︶γ︶  ︶↖        │         |║I

    ║|        ╭──┼╮  |       |     ╱P1,s1  P2,s2╲μ    │         |║|

    ║|        ╭──╯    |       I        4  (s3)               (s1)      |║I

    ║|        ╰──┼╮  |       |   (2π)∫[ν(p3)(i√4παγ)ν(p1)]    |║|

    ║|        ╭──┼╮  |       I                                          |║I

    ╚|_             ╯    |   )   |  < 鲜橙多 > 一种饮品,尚未检测出含有三   |║|

    I╚|╗           ______| ╯    I             聚氰胺鞋拔子地沟油等成分,   |║I

    |  |║              __ ╮  |             多#多漂亮,口感##,#汁富含   |║|

    I  |║            <╲╱>°)  I             ##,使用此技可变为任何角色   |║I

    |  |║         ((| ╱.。   |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║            <╱╲>       I  < 3Re必x > 此技能分三次使用,第二次还║_|  I

    |  |║           °_||_ °。   |             是纯洁无瑕的,(下删三千字)║-26-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 个人篇·万贱齐发| ――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝         \          |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝           /     \  I  < 万贱齐发 > 锦囊牌,人至贱则无敌,此   ︶ I

    ║|       ↖     / /      /  |               牌以其无以伦比之傻事、糗    |

    ║|         ╲ __ \    /   I               事号令天下                 ║|I

    ║| 万 ↖     ┋ \  ╲ __ \  |                                          ║||

    ║|      ╲ __ ヘ ╲  ┋ \|  I                                           _|I

    ║| 賤     ┋ \\     ヘ ╲   |                                          |  |

    ║|         ヘ \╲   \  ╲ I                                          |║I

    ║| 齊 ▁▁_  |/╲ \╲   |                                          |║|

    ║|      __ ╲ _|_    |│ ╲ I                                          |║I

    ║| 發     /_ ╲  |╱  |                                          |║|

    ║|    ╮ //▕/  ╲ \/     I                                          |║I

    ╚|_    ╲_│╭︵╮  ﹨︳  _▁ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ (.)▕(_╲_)  |︳╱    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╮ (.()╯  |//     |                                          |║|

    I  |║灬0_)|╭︵╮     │╭︵I                                          |║I

    |  |║ ︵│|(0灬0_)   ▕(_╲ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║︶︶▕|| ︵│    | (.(.  I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║      \ ︶︶    /|╭︵╮ |                                       ║-27-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 万贱齐发·connect | ―――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝         \          |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝           /     \  I ﹢程序员入                               ︶ I

    ║|       ↖     / /      /  |                                           |

    ║|         ╲ __ \    /   I  据说某俄国特工九死一生偷到了NASA太空火  ║|I

    ║| 万 ↖     ┋ \  ╲ __ \  |  箭发射程序源代码的最后一页,代码是:    ║||

    ║|      ╲ __ ヘ ╲  ┋ \|  I                                           _|I

    ║| 賤     ┋ \\     ヘ ╲   |                                          |  |

    ║|         ヘ \╲   \  ╲ I                                          |║I

    ║| 齊 ▁▁_  |/╲ \╲   |                                          |║|

    ║|      __ ╲ _|_    |│ ╲ I  }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}  |║I

    ║| 發     /_ ╲  |╱  |  }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}        |║|

    ║|    ╮ //▕/  ╲ \/     I                                          |║I

    ╚|_    ╲_│╭︵╮  ﹨︳  _▁ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ (.)▕(_╲_)  |︳╱    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╮ (.()╯  |//     |                                          |║|

    I  |║灬0_)|╭︵╮     │╭︵I                                          |║I

    |  |║ ︵│|(0灬0_)   ▕(_╲ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║︶︶▕|| ︵│    | (.(.  I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║      \ ︶︶    /|╭︵╮ |                                       ║-28-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 万贱齐发·forz |―――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝         \          |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝           /     \  I ﹢地铁里看见的真事                       ︶ I

    ║|       ↖     / /      /  |                                           |

    ║|         ╲ __ \    /   I  地铁里,男A和女B因为一点碰撞吵了起来,  ║|I

    ║| 万 ↖     ┋ \  ╲ __ \  |  到一站停了,女B下车了,刚下车犹豫了一   ║||

    ║|      ╲ __ ヘ ╲  ┋ \|  I  下,冲上来挥手给了A一个耳光,然后转身    _|I

    ║| 賤     ┋ \\     ヘ ╲   |  就跑,结果涌上来一群人,又把B给挤回来   |  |

    ║|         ヘ \╲   \  ╲ I  了,没下去车。然后A就冲上去踢了B一脚。  |║I

    ║| 齊 ▁▁_  |/╲ \╲   |  B还手。之后开始一直动手打架,还互骂。   |║|

    ║|      __ ╲ _|_    |│ ╲ I  然后过了N站,还没停止。这时候突然一个   |║I

    ║| 發     /_ ╲  |╱  |  壮汉站起来了,大吼:别TM打了,cao!老   |║|

    ║|    ╮ //▕/  ╲ \/     I  子看你们打架都看过站了!                |║I

    ╚|_    ╲_│╭︵╮  ﹨︳  _▁ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ (.)▕(_╲_)  |︳╱    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╮ (.()╯  |//     |                                          |║|

    I  |║灬0_)|╭︵╮     │╭︵I                                          |║I

    |  |║ ︵│|(0灬0_)   ▕(_╲ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║︶︶▕|| ︵│    | (.(.  I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║      \ ︶︶    /|╭︵╮ |                                       ║-29-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 万贱齐发·jackieand | ――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝         \          |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝           /     \  I ﹢你后面有一只猪                         ︶ I

    ║|       ↖     / /      /  |                                           |

    ║|         ╲ __ \    /   I  记得在大学时,一晚自习课,想让我同桌班  ║|I

    ║| 万 ↖     ┋ \  ╲ __ \  |  长出一下洋相,我往他后面贴了一张纸,纸  ║||

    ║|      ╲ __ ヘ ╲  ┋ \|  I  上画了一只猪。他后桌是一个很胖的女生,   _|I

    ║| 賤     ┋ \\     ヘ ╲   |  胖女生看到之后猛笑,并且越笑越大声,班  |  |

    ║|         ヘ \╲   \  ╲ I  长责问她为什么笑。那胖女生边笑边指着班  |║I

    ║| 齊 ▁▁_  |/╲ \╲   |  长说:“你后面有一只猪……”            |║|

    ║|      __ ╲ _|_    |│ ╲ I                                          |║I

    ║| 發     /_ ╲  |╱  |                                          |║|

    ║|    ╮ //▕/  ╲ \/     I                                          |║I

    ╚|_    ╲_│╭︵╮  ﹨︳  _▁ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ (.)▕(_╲_)  |︳╱    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╮ (.()╯  |//     |                                          |║|

    I  |║灬0_)|╭︵╮     │╭︵I                                          |║I

    |  |║ ︵│|(0灬0_)   ▕(_╲ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║︶︶▕|| ︵│    | (.(.  I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║      \ ︶︶    /|╭︵╮ |                                       ║-30-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 万贱齐发·longskychina |―――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝         \          |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝           /     \  I ﹢高中的一个同学                         ︶ I

    ║|       ↖     / /      /  |                                           |

    ║|         ╲ __ \    /   I  记得高中时候上晚自习,一哥们在最后一排  ║|I

    ║| 万 ↖     ┋ \  ╲ __ \  |  睡觉。突然醒了,然后把灯关了,接着睡觉。║||

    ║|      ╲ __ ヘ ╲  ┋ \|  I  当时全班同学都看傻了。                   _|I

    ║| 賤     ┋ \\     ヘ ╲   |                                          |  |

    ║|         ヘ \╲   \  ╲ I                                          |║I

    ║| 齊 ▁▁_  |/╲ \╲   |                                          |║|

    ║|      __ ╲ _|_    |│ ╲ I                                          |║I

    ║| 發     /_ ╲  |╱  |                                          |║|

    ║|    ╮ //▕/  ╲ \/     I                                          |║I

    ╚|_    ╲_│╭︵╮  ﹨︳  _▁ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ (.)▕(_╲_)  |︳╱    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╮ (.()╯  |//     |                                          |║|

    I  |║灬0_)|╭︵╮     │╭︵I                                          |║I

    |  |║ ︵│|(0灬0_)   ▕(_╲ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║︶︶▕|| ︵│    | (.(.  I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║      \ ︶︶    /|╭︵╮ |                                       ║-31-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 万贱齐发·opiuk | ――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝         \          |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝           /     \  I ﹢冲错话费了                             ︶ I

    ║|       ↖     / /      /  |                                           |

    ║|         ╲ __ \    /   I  充电话费充错手机号了,因为充了100有点   ║|I

    ║| 万 ↖     ┋ \  ╲ __ \  |  心疼,就给那个哥们打了过去,说能不能给  ║||

    ║|      ╲ __ ヘ ╲  ┋ \|  I  我充回来~结果那哥们特郁闷的说:兄弟,   _|I

    ║| 賤     ┋ \\     ヘ ╲   |  年底了,全是要帐的,我好不容易停机了,  |  |

    ║|         ヘ \╲   \  ╲ I  你他妈的又给我充上了……                |║I

    ║| 齊 ▁▁_  |/╲ \╲   |                                          |║|

    ║|      __ ╲ _|_    |│ ╲ I                                          |║I

    ║| 發     /_ ╲  |╱  |                                          |║|

    ║|    ╮ //▕/  ╲ \/     I                                          |║I

    ╚|_    ╲_│╭︵╮  ﹨︳  _▁ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ (.)▕(_╲_)  |︳╱    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╮ (.()╯  |//     |                                          |║|

    I  |║灬0_)|╭︵╮     │╭︵I                                          |║I

    |  |║ ︵│|(0灬0_)   ▕(_╲ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║︶︶▕|| ︵│    | (.(.  I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║      \ ︶︶    /|╭︵╮ |                                       ║-32-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 万贱齐发·veheibo | ―――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝         \          |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝           /     \  I ﹢烧柱香                                 ︶ I

    ║|       ↖     / /      /  |                                           |

    ║|         ╲ __ \    /   I  住校,晚上天气闷热,又没有电,于是把凉  ║|I

    ║| 万 ↖     ┋ \  ╲ __ \  |  席铺到楼道睡。刚躺下就被蚊子编队围住…  ║||

    ║|      ╲ __ ヘ ╲  ┋ \|  I  翻箱倒柜找出盘蚊香,点上放在脚底下,这   _|I

    ║| 賤     ┋ \\     ヘ ╲   |  才安然睡去…                            |  |

    ║|         ヘ \╲   \  ╲ I  又不到一个钟头,我被一声男人的尖叫惊醒  |║I

    ║| 齊 ▁▁_  |/╲ \╲   |  ,我大怒,只见一人影哆哆嗦嗦地说:“你  |║|

    ║|      __ ╲ _|_    |│ ╲ I  、你大爷的!铺个草席躺楼道里就够吓人的  |║I

    ║| 發     /_ ╲  |╱  |  了,还烧柱香…”                        |║|

    ║|    ╮ //▕/  ╲ \/     I                                          |║I

    ╚|_    ╲_│╭︵╮  ﹨︳  _▁ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ (.)▕(_╲_)  |︳╱    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╮ (.()╯  |//     |                                          |║|

    I  |║灬0_)|╭︵╮     │╭︵I                                          |║I

    |  |║ ︵│|(0灬0_)   ▕(_╲ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║︶︶▕|| ︵│    | (.(.  I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║      \ ︶︶    /|╭︵╮ |                                       ║-33-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 个人篇·情锁连环 |――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝       ╲               I  < 情锁连环 > 选择一至多名异性目标角色   ︶ I

    ║|         ╲ ___             |               ,降低他/她们的判断力;     |

    ║|          ╱  _╲           I               若目标角色也对你使用此锦   ║|I

    ║| 情      /  ╱ ╲╲ ___     |               囊,则两人自动适用乐不思   ║||

    ║|    _\ │││ ╱ _ ╲   I               蜀,相对于其他玩家,两人    _|I

    ║| 索  _`/ ╱\╲ \|               体力、智商均自动归零。     |  |

    ║|      \╱ /╲__/ /  \ I                                          |║I

    ║| 連 ╲___|╱ ╲__╱  ∕\  |                                          |║|

    ║|     |   |▁    ╲ |I                                          |║I

    ║| 環 ︶\╱︶\  \     ╲ ﹨ |                                          |║|

    ║|       (ハ  ︳ ︳     ╲_╲ I                                          |║I

    ╚|_   ハ) )   │            |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗  (  \_ ∕ /             I                                          |║I

    |  |║ _/    ˊ /              |                                          |║|

    I  |║ _/\ ╱_╱               I                                          |║I

    |  |║    ` ̄                  |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║                         I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║                         |                                       ║-34-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 情锁连环·cuco |―――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝       ╲               I ﹢邻居是一位90岁的老头                   ︶ I

    ║|         ╲ ___             |                                           |

    ║|          ╱  _╲           I  邻居是一位90岁的老头,每天骑自行车去海  ║|I

    ║| 情      /  ╱ ╲╲ ___     |  边的老人院。这天出门我正好遇上他,问:  ║||

    ║|    _\ │││ ╱ _ ╲   I  “您每天都骑自行车去那儿,有什么好玩的   _|I

    ║| 索  _`/ ╱\╲ \|  吗?”他一边推自行车一边回答:“有很多  |  |

    ║|      \╱ /╲__/ /  \ I  七八十岁又年轻又单身的女人!”          |║I

    ║| 連 ╲___|╱ ╲__╱  ∕\  |                                          |║|

    ║|     |   |▁    ╲ |I  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~赞下~!         |║I

    ║| 環 ︶\╱︶\  \     ╲ ﹨ |                                          |║|

    ║|       (ハ  ︳ ︳     ╲_╲ I                                          |║I

    ╚|_   ハ) )   │            |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗  (  \_ ∕ /             I                                          |║I

    |  |║ _/    ˊ /              |                                          |║|

    I  |║ _/\ ╱_╱               I                                          |║I

    |  |║    ` ̄                  |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║                         I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║                         |                                       ║-35-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 情锁连环·gs02 |―――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝       ╲               I ﹢我和mm                                 ︶ I

    ║|         ╲ ___             |                                           |

    ║|          ╱  _╲           I  我理mm文,我平时较少言。                ║|I

    ║| 情      /  ╱ ╲╲ ___     |  某天说到概率,mm开始长篇大论。我懒得理  ║||

    ║|    _\ │││ ╱ _ ╲   I  她,就说:你根本不懂数学!于是mm无语,   _|I

    ║| 索  _`/ ╱\╲ \|  表情很是郁闷                            |  |

    ║|      \╱ /╲__/ /  \ I  今天下午我骑车带着mm从六教回来,途中下  |║I

    ║| 連 ╲___|╱ ╲__╱  ∕\  |  坡,超车无数。 mm又开始她的理论,惯性   |║|

    ║|     |   |▁    ╲ |I  和质量成正比,我们是两个人所以跑得快。  |║I

    ║| 環 ︶\╱︶\  \     ╲ ﹨ |  我懒得跟她解释摩擦力什么都是正比于重力  |║|

    ║|       (ハ  ︳ ︳     ╲_╲ I  的,就说:你根本不懂物理!              |║I

    ╚|_   ハ) )   │            |  mm又无语,继续郁闷。                    |║|

    I╚|╗  (  \_ ∕ /             I  过了很久,mm说                          |║I

    |  |║ _/    ˊ /              |  你根本不懂女人!!                      |║|

    I  |║ _/\ ╱_╱               I  根本不懂女人!!                        |║I

    |  |║    ` ̄                  |  不懂女人!!                         ╔ |╝|

    I  |║                         I  女人!!                             ║_|  I

    |  |║                         |  !!!!!                           ║-36-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 情锁连环·shengbanxia | ―――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝       ╲               I ﹢哭笑不得                               ︶ I

    ║|         ╲ ___             |                                           |

    ║|          ╱  _╲           I  老公在上一个东家那里还有最后一笔现金工  ║|I

    ║| 情      /  ╱ ╲╲ ___     |  资要领,因为他比较忙我比较闲,我要替他  ║||

    ║|    _\ │││ ╱ _ ╲   I  去领,被老公坚决拒绝.我以为他不想工资   _|I

    ║| 索  _`/ ╱\╲ \|  被"充公"呢,结果他半天幽幽地说道:"  |  |

    ║|      \╱ /╲__/ /  \ I  你不能去…因为我已经在他们面前把你吹得  |║I

    ║| 連 ╲___|╱ ╲__╱  ∕\  |  跟天仙一样了…"                        |║|

    ║|     |   |▁    ╲ |I                                          |║I

    ║| 環 ︶\╱︶\  \     ╲ ﹨ |                                          |║|

    ║|       (ハ  ︳ ︳     ╲_╲ I                                          |║I

    ╚|_   ハ) )   │            |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗  (  \_ ∕ /             I                                          |║I

    |  |║ _/    ˊ /              |                                          |║|

    I  |║ _/\ ╱_╱               I                                          |║I

    |  |║    ` ̄                  |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║                         I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║                         |                                       ║-37-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 个人篇·过河拆桥 |――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ __  圭 __   _  ___     I  < 过河拆桥 > 宁可我负天下人,休教天下   ︶ I

    ║|         ︺             ╱  |               人负我!此技能以其损人不    |

    ║|      __      _   _   ╱╱  I               利己的损事、损话致使和你   ║|I

    ║| 過                 ╱╱  |               同一角色(水车)的玩家丧   ║||

    ║|     ___  _       ||    I               失一点体力。                _|I

    ║| 河             ︶ ╲ |                                          |  |

    ║|              ||    ╲  I                                          |║I

    ║| 拆          <︶ ╲╲   |                                          |║|

    ║|     ▔        ╲   ╲ ╱ I                                          |║I

    ║| 橋  _        ╲ ╲  ╱ |                                          |║|

    ║|      >          ╲ <|  I                                          |║I

    ╚|_   ╱ ___         ╲  ╱ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ ╱|╲          _  /   I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ||    ╲      〈\\     |                                          |║|

    I  |║︶  ╲╲        \\\    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╲   ╲ ╲╲ ((  \\))|                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║    ╲   >  >-_╰ ﹀'╯I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║   ╲╲  ╱|╱  __ --    |                                       ║-38-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 过河拆桥·jixiesheji |――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ __  圭 __   _  ___     I ﹢国庆的时候吃饭                         ︶ I

    ║|         ︺             ╱  |                                           |

    ║|      __      _   _   ╱╱  I  国庆和一哥们饭店吃饭。菜上齐、哥们儿喊  ║|I

    ║| 過                 ╱╱  |  服务员:信不信我用大拇指就能把啤酒打开  ║||

    ║|     ___  _       ||    I  。服务员惊奇的说:不信。哥们儿淡淡的说   _|I

    ║| 河             ︶ ╲ |  :那你还不把瓶起子拿来?!              |  |

    ║|              ||    ╲  I                                          |║I

    ║| 拆          <︶ ╲╲   |                                          |║|

    ║|     ▔        ╲   ╲ ╱ I                                          |║I

    ║| 橋  _        ╲ ╲  ╱ |                                          |║|

    ║|      >          ╲ <|  I                                          |║I

    ╚|_   ╱ ___         ╲  ╱ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ ╱|╲          _  /   I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ||    ╲      〈\\     |                                          |║|

    I  |║︶  ╲╲        \\\    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╲   ╲ ╲╲ ((  \\))|                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║    ╲   >  >-_╰ ﹀'╯I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║   ╲╲  ╱|╱  __ --    |                                       ║-39-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 过河拆桥·landx | ――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ __  圭 __   _  ___     I ﹢这是哪只股票?                         ︶ I

    ║|         ︺             ╱  |                                           |

    ║|      __      _   _   ╱╱  I  半年前,为了鞭策自己减肥,我坚持每天记  ║|I

    ║| 過                 ╱╱  |  录自己的体重,填入Excel表格,生成一个   ║||

    ║|     ___  _       ||    I  走势图……                               _|I

    ║| 河             ︶ ╲ |  今天,同事经过我的座位,只见他走过去了  |  |

    ║|              ||    ╲  I  又若有所思地倒了回来,趴我耳边悄悄问:  |║I

    ║| 拆          <︶ ╲╲   |  那个……能不能透露一下,你这是哪只股票  |║|

    ║|     ▔        ╲   ╲ ╱ I  啊?走势蛮好的……                      |║I

    ║| 橋  _        ╲ ╲  ╱ |                                          |║|

    ║|      >          ╲ <|  I                                          |║I

    ╚|_   ╱ ___         ╲  ╱ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ ╱|╲          _  /   I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ||    ╲      〈\\     |                                          |║|

    I  |║︶  ╲╲        \\\    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╲   ╲ ╲╲ ((  \\))|                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║    ╲   >  >-_╰ ﹀'╯I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║   ╲╲  ╱|╱  __ --    |                                       ║-40-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 过河拆桥·shaofanyun |――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ __  圭 __   _  ___     I ﹢刚才吃巫山烤全鱼丢人了                 ︶ I

    ║|         ︺             ╱  |                                           |

    ║|      __      _   _   ╱╱  I  公司洗手间的水龙头都是感应的,习惯了,  ║|I

    ║| 過                 ╱╱  |  刚才team building去上地的巫山烤全鱼吃   ║||

    ║|     ___  _       ||    I  午饭,中间去洗手间洗手,手在龙头下面呆   _|I

    ║| 河             ︶ ╲ |  了半天不见出水,这是一个大叔过来帮我打  |  |

    ║|              ||    ╲  I  开水龙头,俺表示感谢,大叔说,水要拧一  |║I

    ║| 拆          <︶ ╲╲   |  下,然后加了一句,大城市就是不一样吧。  |║|

    ║|     ▔        ╲   ╲ ╱ I                                          |║I

    ║| 橋  _        ╲ ╲  ╱ |  靠,IT民工穿的破烂了点怎么啦            |║|

    ║|      >          ╲ <|  I                                          |║I

    ╚|_   ╱ ___         ╲  ╱ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ ╱|╲          _  /   I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ||    ╲      〈\\     |                                          |║|

    I  |║︶  ╲╲        \\\    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╲   ╲ ╲╲ ((  \\))|                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║    ╲   >  >-_╰ ﹀'╯I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║   ╲╲  ╱|╱  __ --    |                                       ║-41-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 过河拆桥·Silmarillion |―――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ __  圭 __   _  ___     I ﹢想起我遇到的一个                       ︶ I

    ║|         ︺             ╱  |                                           |

    ║|      __      _   _   ╱╱  I  有次在地铁里,看到一个老太太一上车,就  ║|I

    ║| 過                 ╱╱  |  被某热心乘客让座老太太再三推辞,无奈坐  ║||

    ║|     ___  _       ||    I  下一站之后,老太太再也坐不住了,站起来   _|I

    ║| 河             ︶ ╲ |  ,从包里掏出一打北京地图.....           |  |

    ║|              ||    ╲  I                                          |║I

    ║| 拆          <︶ ╲╲   |                                          |║|

    ║|     ▔        ╲   ╲ ╱ I                                          |║I

    ║| 橋  _        ╲ ╲  ╱ |                                          |║|

    ║|      >          ╲ <|  I                                          |║I

    ╚|_   ╱ ___         ╲  ╱ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ ╱|╲          _  /   I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ||    ╲      〈\\     |                                          |║|

    I  |║︶  ╲╲        \\\    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╲   ╲ ╲╲ ((  \\))|                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║    ╲   >  >-_╰ ﹀'╯I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║   ╲╲  ╱|╱  __ --    |                                       ║-42-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 过河拆桥·VikingGundam |―――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ __  圭 __   _  ___     I ﹢充电                                   ︶ I

    ║|         ︺             ╱  |                                           |

    ║|      __      _   _   ╱╱  I  在列车洗脸间给手机充电,人靠在墙上发呆  ║|I

    ║| 過                 ╱╱  |  ,手机连着线放在口袋里。一个来上厕所小  ║||

    ║|     ___  _       ||    I  男孩儿回头对他妈妈说:快看,机器人充电   _|I

    ║| 河             ︶ ╲ |  呢!                                    |  |

    ║|              ||    ╲  I                                          |║I

    ║| 拆          <︶ ╲╲   |                                          |║|

    ║|     ▔        ╲   ╲ ╱ I                                          |║I

    ║| 橋  _        ╲ ╲  ╱ |                                          |║|

    ║|      >          ╲ <|  I                                          |║I

    ╚|_   ╱ ___         ╲  ╱ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗ ╱|╲          _  /   I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ||    ╲      〈\\     |                                          |║|

    I  |║︶  ╲╲        \\\    I                                          |║I

    |  |║  ╲   ╲ ╲╲ ((  \\))|                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║    ╲   >  >-_╰ ﹀'╯I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║   ╲╲  ╱|╱  __ --    |                                       ║-43-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 个人篇·乐不思蜀 |――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝      ╱              |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝      ╱   _ __         I  < 乐不思蜀 > 高级水车锁定技,使用后可   ︶ I

    ║|        〈   ╱  _ |        |               降低对手的J点、体力和记     |

    ║|        '╱ /\>﹨ _     I               忆力。                     ║|I

    ║| 樂     \ ╲/\>_╱╱ \    |                                          ║||

    ║|        ‵<_╱╱ ︹ ╲  I                                           _|I

    ║| 不       \< ︺_∠|                                          |  |

    ║|           ╲ \_>  <\\I                                          |║I

    ║| 思          \  _\>   ∠|                                          |║|

    ║|             ︳ \|╱╱    I                                          |║I

    ║| 蜀╲       /︳    /      |                                          |║|

    ║|   ╲    /   ◢◣    ◢◣ I                                          |║I

    ╚|_   \__ ─ˊ   ◣◢◤ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗    \   _ __  ◥◤◤ I                                          |║I

    |  |║     ╲/ ╲   ◤◥◣   |                                          |║|

    I  |║         ̄ \◤◥◣ I                                          |║I

    |  |║            ◥◤    ◥◤ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║                         I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║                         |                                       ║-44-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 乐不思蜀·jikhotel |―――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝      ╱              |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝      ╱   _ __         I ﹢低调                                   ︶ I

    ║|        〈   ╱  _ |        |                                           |

    ║|        '╱ /\>﹨ _     I  姥爷推着嘉嘉在小区里溜达,走过一对母女  ║|I

    ║| 樂     \ ╲/\>_╱╱ \    |  ,听到俩人在背后说,霍!这孩子真漂亮。  ║||

    ║|        ‵<_╱╱ ︹ ╲  I  姥爷听完以后,默默转过头,从母女身边又   _|I

    ║| 不       \< ︺_∠|  过了一遍。。。                          |  |

    ║|           ╲ \_>  <\\I                                          |║I

    ║| 思          \  _\>   ∠|                                          |║|

    ║|             ︳ \|╱╱    I                                          |║I

    ║| 蜀╲       /︳    /      |                                          |║|

    ║|   ╲    /   ◢◣    ◢◣ I                                          |║I

    ╚|_   \__ ─ˊ   ◣◢◤ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗    \   _ __  ◥◤◤ I                                          |║I

    |  |║     ╲/ ╲   ◤◥◣   |                                          |║|

    I  |║         ̄ \◤◥◣ I                                          |║I

    |  |║            ◥◤    ◥◤ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║                         I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║                         |                                       ║-45-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 乐不思蜀·phage | ――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝      ╱              |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝      ╱   _ __         I ﹢大陆高校文化气息比香港浓厚             ︶ I

    ║|        〈   ╱  _ |        |                                           |

    ║|        '╱ /\>﹨ _     I  有个人向我抱怨说香港的大学,商业气息太  ║|I

    ║| 樂     \ ╲/\>_╱╱ \    |  浓:在校园里搭讪,十个有九是学金融的;  ║||

    ║|        ‵<_╱╱ ︹ ╲  I  餐厅电子屏幕循环闪全球股指、外汇价格。   _|I

    ║| 不       \< ︺_∠|  他认为这挺浮躁,不及内地大学有文化,他  |  |

    ║|           ╲ \_>  <\\I  对比说:在内地你每次进校门,保安就会问  |║I

    ║| 思          \  _\>   ∠|  你三个哲学上的终极问题:                |║|

    ║|             ︳ \|╱╱    I  “你是谁?”                            |║I

    ║| 蜀╲       /︳    /      |  “你从哪里来?”                        |║|

    ║|   ╲    /   ◢◣    ◢◣ I  “你要到哪里去?”                      |║I

    ╚|_   \__ ─ˊ   ◣◢◤ |  显得很有文化的样子。                    |║|

    I╚|╗    \   _ __  ◥◤◤ I                                          |║I

    |  |║     ╲/ ╲   ◤◥◣   |                                          |║|

    I  |║         ̄ \◤◥◣ I                                          |║I

    |  |║            ◥◤    ◥◤ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║                         I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║                         |                                       ║-46-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 乐不思蜀·qzstar1985 |――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝      ╱              |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝      ╱   _ __         I ﹢数学系一共就十个班                     ︶ I

    ║|        〈   ╱  _ |        |                                           |

    ║|        '╱ /\>﹨ _     I  数学系一共就十个班。                    ║|I

    ║| 樂     \ ╲/\>_╱╱ \    |  今天与某人偶遇。他对我说:“你也数学系  ║||

    ║|        ‵<_╱╱ ︹ ╲  I  的?你是十班的么?”                     _|I

    ║| 不       \< ︺_∠|  我对他说:“你是九班的么?”            |  |

    ║|           ╲ \_>  <\\I  他对我说:“你是八班的么?”            |║I

    ║| 思          \  _\>   ∠|  我对他说:“你是七班的么?”            |║|

    ║|             ︳ \|╱╱    I  他对我说:“你是六班的么?”            |║I

    ║| 蜀╲       /︳    /      |  我对他说:“你是五班的么?”            |║|

    ║|   ╲    /   ◢◣    ◢◣ I  他对我说:“你是四班的么?”            |║I

    ╚|_   \__ ─ˊ   ◣◢◤ |  我对他说:“你是三班的么?”            |║|

    I╚|╗    \   _ __  ◥◤◤ I  他对我说:“原来你是二班的啊!”        |║I

    |  |║     ╲/ ╲   ◤◥◣   |  我对他说:“原来你是一班的啊!”        |║|

    I  |║         ̄ \◤◥◣ I  二人抚掌欢笑。                          |║I

    |  |║            ◥◤    ◥◤ |  旁边传来对话。“你也中文系的?我是二 ╔ |╝|

    I  |║                         I  班的,你呢?”“我是一班的。”       ║_|  I

    |  |║                         |  沉默。                               ║-47-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 乐不思蜀·taugulua |―――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝      ╱              |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝      ╱   _ __         I ﹢来来,原创。。。                       ︶ I

    ║|        〈   ╱  _ |        |                                           |

    ║|        '╱ /\>﹨ _     I  不笑不许打我                            ║|I

    ║| 樂     \ ╲/\>_╱╱ \    |  刚才看到有人说某2b,在别人的id后面加上  ║||

    ║|        ‵<_╱╱ ︹ ╲  I  2b,后来被杀当了                         _|I

    ║| 不       \< ︺_∠|  突发奇想,如果注册个smth2b会怎么样,结  |  |

    ║|           ╲ \_>  <\\I  果不能注册                              |║I

    ║| 思          \  _\>   ∠|  smthsb,不能注册,sbsmth,不能注册。。  |║|

    ║|             ︳ \|╱╱    I  。后来一想,是不是带smth的都不能注册,  |║I

    ║| 蜀╲       /︳    /      |  为了保持官方id权威性                    |║|

    ║|   ╲    /   ◢◣    ◢◣ I  结果尝试smthnb,通过了。。。            |║I

    ╚|_   \__ ─ˊ   ◣◢◤ |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗    \   _ __  ◥◤◤ I                                          |║I

    |  |║     ╲/ ╲   ◤◥◣   |                                          |║|

    I  |║         ̄ \◤◥◣ I                                          |║I

    |  |║            ◥◤    ◥◤ |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║                         I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║                         |                                       ║-48-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 乐不思蜀·图片版 |――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════════════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                                                               ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ 最近回帖流行用一个“内”字             by xhotkey               ︶ I

    ║|      http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/article/MMJoke/105809?s=105809      ╰|

    ║|     背影……                               by VampireJax            ║|I

    ║| 樂   http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/article/MMJoke/109101?s=109101     ║||

    ║|     为什么那么多好方案不中标,因为你不了解 by tuboshu                _|I

    ║| 不   http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/#!article/MMJoke/114702?p=1#a0     |  |

    ║|     广州动物公园马路边的插画               by match510520           |║I

    ║| 思   http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/#!article/MMJoke/99206?p=1#a0      |║|

    ║|     胖子的用处                             by wxfromxh              |║I

    ║| 蜀   http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/#!article/MMJoke/103299?p=1#a0     |║|

    ║|     犀牛的世界                             by at2011518             |║I

    ╚|_     http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/article/MMJoke/111907?s=111907     |║|

    I╚|╗  你怎么不喊我亲?                       by dabao                 |║I

    |  |║   http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/#!article/MMJoke/109446?p=1#a0     |║|

    I  |║  黄师傅vs霍师傅                         by joejunker             |║I

    |  |║   http://www.newsmth.net/nForum/#!article/MMJoke/108030?p=1#a0  ╔ |╝|

    I  |║                                                                 ║_|  I

    |  |║                                                                 ║-49-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 集体篇·水车入侵 |――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝    ___  __ __  ___     I  < 水车入侵 > 由3名以上水车联合发动,可  ︶ I

    ║|       _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    |               造成猪头丧失1点体力,但猪   |

    ║|     _/  ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒  \_  I               头可发动封禁技能反击。     ║|I

    ║| 水 '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' |                                          ║||

    ║|       ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    I                                           _|I

    ║| 車           ::            |                                          |  |

    ║|             ::::           I                                          |║I

    ║| 入         ::::::          |                                          |║|

    ║|           ::::::::         I                                          |║I

    ║| 侵          ::::           |                                          |║|

    ║|             ::::           I                                          |║I

    ╚|_            ::::           |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗          ::::           I                                          |║I

    |  |║   ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃        |                                          |║|

    I  |║   |┤│ │ |||<    I                                          |║I

    |  |║          ▃ ▃  ▃      |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       |||-< |-      I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║          ▔     ▔      |                                       ║-50-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·盐多必湿 |―――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝    ___  __ __  ___     I ﹢盐多必湿                               ︶ I

    ║|       _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    |                                           |

    ║|     _/  ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒  \_  I  缘起【2011日本核泄露造成中国抢盐潮】  ║|I

    ║| 水 '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' |                                          ║||

    ║|       ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    I  水车战局精彩记录                       _|I

    ║| 車           ::            |  据说同为盐荒子孙的苏东坡和夫人在没有抢  |  |

    ║|             ::::           I  到盐之后, 很有感慨的写下了: 相顾无盐,   |║I

    ║| 入         ::::::          |  唯有泪千行 的名句.    by captainclaw    |║|

    ║|           ::::::::         I                                          |║I

    ║| 侵          ::::           |  上联:日本人在核辐射中等待碘盐          |║|

    ║|             ::::           I  下联:中国人抢碘盐以等待核辐射          |║I

    ╚|_            ::::           |  横批:无盐以对                          |║|

    I╚|╗          ::::           I  上联:日本是大核民族                    |║I

    |  |║   ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃        |  下联:中国是盐荒子孙                    |║|

    I  |║   |┤│ │ |||<    I  横批:有碘意思        by font           |║I

    |  |║          ▃ ▃  ▃      |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       |||-< |-      I  崴脚部发盐人称:作为发盐人,一定知无 ║_|  I

    |  |║          ▔     ▔      |  不盐,盐无不尽。      by Darrell1203 ║-51-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·盐多必湿 |―――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝    ___  __ __  ___     I  您盐重了                by uranium      ︶ I

    ║|       _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    |  (各位盐重了!           by miyami)       |

    ║|     _/  ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒  \_  I                                          ║|I

    ║| 水 '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' |  ccav有个主持人叫白盐送  by mislixue     ║||

    ║|       ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    I                                           _|I

    ║| 車           ::            |  岩雁筵檐燕,檐燕咽盐,奄奄,岩雁咽咽,  |  |

    ║|             ::::           I  验盐,赝盐焉,厌盐。                    |║I

    ║| 入         ::::::          |                          by semifinal    |║|

    ║|           ::::::::         I                                          |║I

    ║| 侵          ::::           |  闫彦,胭颜艳妍,腌雁演筵宴严。闫彦严言  |║|

    ║|             ::::           I  :“严眼炎,厌盐,焉咽腌雁”闫彦掩颜淹  |║I

    ╚|_            ::::           |  眼。                    by SHENOK       |║|

    I╚|╗          ::::           I                                          |║I

    |  |║   ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃        |  在食盐哄抢之下,某超市咸鱼摊位边增设了  |║|

    I  |║   |┤│ │ |||<    I  4位保安,以防止顾客舔食盐行为,如此为   |║I

    |  |║          ▃ ▃  ▃      |  之的原因是:昨天好好的四尾大咸鱼硬是 ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       |||-< |-      I  被舔成了淡水鱼……                   ║_|  I

    |  |║          ▔     ▔      |  一天之后,又有四尾大咸鱼被舔成淡水鱼 ║-52-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·盐多必湿 |―――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝    ___  __ __  ___     I  (接上页)                                ︶ I

    ║|       _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    |  了。据目击者称,是保安舔的。于是,四名   |

    ║|     _/  ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒  \_  I  保安被辞退了...         by lnf          ║|I

    ║| 水 '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' |                                          ║||

    ║|       ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    I  今天某会场突发骚乱,不知何故与会者争相   _|I

    ║| 車           ::            |  冲上台导致踩踏事件。警方来到医院想从会  |  |

    ║|             ::::           I  议主持人那里得到事件真相,主持人奄奄一  |║I

    ║| 入         ::::::          |  息的说道:我也不知道为什么,我只是说了  |║|

    ║|           ::::::::         I  句:下面请领导发盐,大家欢迎。"结果所有  |║I

    ║| 侵          ::::           |  人就红了眼的冲了上来。  by nightwizard  |║|

    ║|             ::::           I                                          |║I

    ╚|_            ::::           |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗          ::::           I                                          |║I

    |  |║   ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃        |                                          |║|

    I  |║   |┤│ │ |||<    I                                          |║I

    |  |║          ▃ ▃  ▃      |                                       ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       |||-< |-      I                                       ║_|  I

    |  |║          ▔     ▔      |                                       ║-53-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝    ___  __ __  ___     I ﹢泼水节                                 ︶ I

    ║|       _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    |                                           |

    ║|     _/  ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒  \_  I  缘起                                  ║|I

    ║| 水 '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' |  【同一个段子,天涯猫扑网易新浪的区别】  ║||

    ║|       ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    I  泼水节,一哥们大喊:“谁他妈泼我?”旁   _|I

    ║| 車           ::            |  人劝:“泼你是送你吉祥的意思。”        |  |

    ║|             ::::           I  哥们怒骂:“少来这套,谁他妈用开水泼我  |║I

    ║| 入         ::::::          |  !”                                    |║|

    ║|           ::::::::         I  但是,通过网友回复却能深刻体现出各家微  |║I

    ║| 侵          ::::           |  博论坛的区别,看好了,不要落下一个字:  |║|

    ║|             ::::           I                                          |║I

    ╚|_            ::::           |  【天涯论坛跟帖】                        |║|

    I╚|╗          ::::           I  1楼:根据泼水节的场地需求,一壶开水从   |║I

    |  |║   ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃        |  场外烧开披荆斩棘来到场内,估计早就被泼  |║|

    I  |║   |┤│ │ |||<    I  凉了。                                  |║I

    |  |║          ▃ ▃  ▃      |  2楼:1楼好久不见                     ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       |||-< |-      I  3楼:是啊,最近都去杂谈了            ║_|  I

    |  |║          ▔     ▔      |  4楼:胡公子也多日不来了,改天去踢球?║-54-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝    ___  __ __  ___     I  (接上页)                                ︶ I

    ║|       _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    |  5楼:好啊,你订场子                      ╰|

    ║|     _/  ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒  \_  I                                          ║|I

    ║| 水 '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' |  【猫扑论坛跟帖】                        ║||

    ║|       ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    I  1楼:沙发                                _|I

    ║| 車           ::            |  2楼:板凳,求真相                       |  |

    ║|             ::::           I  3楼:烫熟了没?                         |║I

    ║| 入         ::::::          |  4楼:求人肉                             |║|

    ║|           ::::::::         I  5楼:对,人肉这小子                     |║I

    ║| 侵          ::::           |  6楼:这个是我隔壁二大爷那傻小子干的     |║|

    ║|             ::::           I  7楼:身份证号133011xxxxxxxxxxxx         |║I

    ╚|_            ::::           |                                          |║|

    I╚|╗          ::::           I  【网易微博评论】                        |║I

    |  |║   ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃        |  1楼:                                   |║|

    I  |║   |┤│ │ |||<    I  从来泼水送吉祥 未见泼水送沸汤           |║I

    |  |║          ▃ ▃  ▃      |  若非曾有旧日仇 定是jq被中伤          ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       |||-< |-      I  2楼:淫才啊                          ║_|  I

    |  |║          ▔     ▔      |  3楼:淫得一手好湿                    ║-55-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝    ___  __ __  ___     I  (接上页)                                ︶ I

    ║|       _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    |  4楼:                                    ╰|

    ║|     _/  ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒  \_  I  清清水来蓝蓝天 泼水节上闹翻天           ║|I

    ║| 水 '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' |  忽见一人满地滚 被烫猪头叫连连           ║||

    ║|       ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    I  5楼:                                    _|I

    ║| 車           ::            |  你泼冷水透心凉 我泼开水暖胸膛           |  |

    ║|             ::::           I  人情冷暖感自知 何必计较水太烫           |║I

    ║| 入         ::::::          |  。。。。。。                            |║|

    ║|           ::::::::         I  16楼:泼水不忘端水人                    |║I

    ║| 侵          ::::           |  17楼:端水不忘送水人                    |║|

    ║|             ::::           I                                          |║I

    ╚|_            ::::           |  【新浪微博评论】                        |║|

    I╚|╗          ::::           I  1楼:转发微博                           |║I

    |  |║   ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃        |  2楼:转发微博                           |║|

    I  |║   |┤│ │ |||<    I  3楼:转发微博                           |║I

    |  |║          ▃ ▃  ▃      |  4楼:转发微博                        ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       |||-< |-      I  5楼:转发微博                        ║_|  I

    |  |║          ▔     ▔      |  6楼:转发微博                        ║-56-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝    ___  __ __  ___     I  水车战局精彩记录                      ︶ I

    ║|       _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    |  特快:1、我擦!这也行                    |

    ║|     _/  ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒  \_  I  2、干死他全家,泼回去                   ║|I

    ║| 水 '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' |  3、9494,以牙还牙,这种事还认怂的基本   ║||

    ║|       ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    I  是loser                                  _|I

    ║| 車           ::            |  5、loser们,我认为这种事必须是北大的干  |  |

    ║|             ::::           I  的,大家还记得当年北大泼硫酸的哥们么    |║I

    ║| 入         ::::::          |  6.。。。。                              |║|

    ║|           ::::::::         I  joke:1、tooooooooooold                 |║I

    ║| 侵          ::::           |  2、我猜是星河干的                       |║|

    ║|             ::::           I  3、是不是为了分小姨吵起来了?           |║I

    ╚|_            ::::           |  4、我想叫tooooold,会不会关小黑屋       |║|

    I╚|╗          ::::           I  5、能分小姨?我靠,那泼盆开水也忍了,   |║I

    |  |║   ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃        |  求分小姨!             by xana          |║|

    I  |║   |┤│ │ |||<    I                                          |║I

    |  |║          ▃ ▃  ▃      |  饭米粒版:                            ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       |||-< |-      I  婆媳贴:婆婆是个农村妇女,把他大儿子 ║_|  I

    |  |║          ▔     ▔      |  也就是我老公当提款机,钱全拿去补贴小 ║-57-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝    ___  __ __  ___     I  (接上页)                                ︶ I

    ║|       _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    |  叔子,小叔子…此处省略五千字…婆婆只知   |

    ║|     _/  ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒  \_  I  道…五千字…前几天婆婆非要来我们家,这  ║|I

    ║| 水 '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' |  两天没有一秒钟我是过舒坦了的,刚才实在  ║||

    ║|       ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    I  忍不住爆发了,一盆热水就给她泼去了       _|I

    ║| 車           ::            |  夫妻版:老公是个凤凰男,我家就是他们家  |  |

    ║|             ::::           I  驻京办,5月他二叔来…五千字…六月他们   |║I

    ║| 入         ::::::          |  村老王一家来…五千字…上个月他二表姐一  |║|

    ║|           ::::::::         I  家来…五千字…昨天他又跟我说他们家四表  |║I

    ║| 侵          ::::           |  姑一家要来北京,实在忍不住爆发了,一盆  |║|

    ║|             ::::           I  热水就给他泼去了(省略孩子版)            |║I

    ╚|_            ::::           |  回帖:                                  |║|

    I╚|╗          ::::           I  1L 离!                                 |║I

    |  |║   ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃        |  2L 沙发!                               |║|

    I  |║   |┤│ │ |||<    I  3L 求摘要!                             |║I

    |  |║          ▃ ▃  ▃      |  4L 看着楼主,我就好像看到了我自己。我╔ |╝|

    I  |║       |||-< |-      I  们家也是,我婆婆/凤凰男老公…五千字…║_|  I

    |  |║          ▔     ▔      |  5L sf!                              ║-58-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝    ___  __ __  ___     I  (接上页)                                ︶ I

    ║|       _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    |  6L 今天徐老师贴pp了吗?                  |

    ║|     _/  ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒  \_  I  7L 今天没有,昨天徐老师贴了,用的是XX   ║|I

    ║| 水 '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' |  的化妆品呢                              ║||

    ║|       ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    I  8L 真的吗?她还真舍得!                  _|I

    ║| 車           ::            |  9L 我就好奇了,徐老师的皮肤这么好,到   |  |

    ║|             ::::           I  底是天生的还是化妆品用得好?…          |║I

    ║| 入         ::::::          |  107L 也是,徐老师皮肤还是因为化妆品吧   |║|

    ║|           ::::::::         I  108L 离!                               |║I

    ║| 侵          ::::           |  109L 十大观光团路过…  by molcov        |║|

    ║|             ::::           I                                          |║I

    ╚|_            ::::           |  请问客服MM我被泼十次开水,你可以做我女  |║|

    I╚|╗          ::::           I  朋友吗?                                |║I

    |  |║   ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃        |  京东回复: 您好!O(∩_∩)O您先泼下来,  |║|

    I  |║   |┤│ │ |||<    I  我好考虑。感谢您对京东的支持!祝您购物  |║I

    |  |║          ▃ ▃  ▃      |  愉快!                               ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       |||-< |-      I  请问支持上门泼开水服务吗?我在X市X乡 ║_|  I

    |  |║          ▔     ▔      |  X村                                  ║-59-|

    |  ―【Clan2.水车 】―――― | ――| 水车入侵·泼水节 |――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝    ___  __ __  ___     I  京东回复: 您好!此款泼水暂不支持上门服 ︶ I

    ║|       _\╱--\/ \/--╲/_    |  务。感谢您对京东的支持!祝您购物愉快!   ╰|

    ║|     _/  ⌒ ⌒\ /⌒ ⌒  \_  I                         by miracle123    ║|I

    ║| 水 '~\  _(oo)/ \(oo)_  /`' |  普通青年用凉水泼别人,                  ║||

    ║|       ︺ ︺︺   ︺︺ ︺    I  文艺青年用凉水泼自己,                   _|I

    ║| 車           ::            |  2B青年用开水泼自己。 by tet           |  |

    ║|             ::::           I                                          |║I

    ║| 入         ::::::          |  王家卫版:被泼第一身水之后3分25秒,我又 |║|

    ║|           ::::::::         I  被泼了一桶水,不过这次,水是开的        |║I

    ║| 侵          ::::           |                         by yutourr       |║|

    ║|             ::::           I                                          |║I

    ╚|_            ::::           |  三国杀版:谁来与我大泼三百回合?        |║|

    I╚|╗          ::::           I  夫君,身体要紧~                        |║I

    |  |║   ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃ ▃        |  鼠辈,竟敢泼我!能泼能逃乃真正法器!    |║|

    I  |║   |┤│ │ |||<    I  不朽之躯,他却泼我!别担心,有老夫呢。  |║I

    |  |║          ▃ ▃  ▃      |  父亲,大哥,我被泼了!下次注意一点~ ╔ |╝|

    I  |║       |||-< |-      I  屈我淫威,hiahia  哎呀,讨厌~       ║_|  I

    |  |║          ▔     ▔      |                         by zl549      ║-60-|

    |  ―【Clan3.星河 】―――― | ――――――――――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ ╲  |  ╱   .   ·       .< 闹革命 > 以星河为首的一小撮反动分子   ︶ I

    ║|         _              .   .  ·         ,利用广大不明真相的无知水    |

    - ┈─  · ─┈┈┈  - .       ·      车,试图颠覆猪头伟光正政权   ║|I

    ║ .       _ ︳  .             |             ,以实现自身分小姨等不可告   ║||

    /╰,\     _   __      I             人目的之技能。一般在4月1日    _|I

    ·   _   \╯ /   // \╱/╲╲   |             、2月30日、13月1日等现有娇   |  |

    ╱ ̄╲_ | ││ -    - ﹨\  I             客体制不承认的日期发动,效   |║I

    / ╱`\  ▕  /"-'"-|│ |             果短暂,一般只维持一两天。   |║|

    ˊ   ╲_ ╱ |_\    |′ I                                          |║I

    │/︵          |/|| `|_╱ │  |  < 分小姨 > 星河试图迷惑水车,分化、软   |║|

    ︶  |/        ﹨ ‵     ︳ I             化我猪头政权的一种技能,本   |║I

    ╚|_ˋ\|          \ ╲ /   /ヽ               娇客再次声明只有一批小姨,   |║|

    I╚|╗ ╲         \\  \    ︳ \              任何试图制造“两批小姨”、   |║I

    |  |║   ˋ _∕    │  \  │   \             “一姨一婶”的技能都是不得   |║|

    I  |║        |    │     │   │            水车心、是注定失败的。       |║I

    |  |║ ▃」▃    ▃    ▃                                              ╔ |╝|

    I  |║|_ ┃ |\||||-      I  < 进洞房 > 星河明分小姨、暗度陈仓的技║_|  I

    |  |║     ▔    ▔    ▔      |             能,详见下页              ║-61-|

    |  ―【Clan3.星河 】―――― | ――――――――――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════  ══════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                      |                                        ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝ ╲  |  ╱   .   ·       .进洞房                                ︶ I

    ║|         _              .   .  ·                                       |

    - ┈─  · ─┈┈┈  - .       · - 新郎                            ║|I

    ║ .       _ ︳  .             |  发信人: xinghe (星河), 信区: Joke       ║||

    /╰,\     _   __      I  标  题: Re: xinghe的婚礼?               _|I

    ·   _   \╯ /   // \╱/╲╲   |                                          |  |

    ╱ ̄╲_ | ││ -    - ﹨\  I  做好本职工作:)                          |║I

    / ╱`\  ▕  /"-'"-|│ |  【 在 vivas的大作中提到: 】             |║|

    ˊ   ╲_ ╱ |_\    |′ I  : 标  题: Re: xinghe的婚礼?            |║I

    │/︵          |/|| `|_╱ │  |  : 发信站: 水木社区, 站内                |║|

    ︶  |/        ﹨ ‵     ︳ I  :                                       |║I

    ╚|_ˋ\|          \ ╲ /   /ヽ    :         大喜的日子还抽空来灌水呢      |║|

    I╚|╗ ╲         \\  \    ︳ \                                           |║I

    |  |║   ˋ _∕    │  \  │   \       初夜                             |║|

    I  |║        |    │     │   │ 谈到自己的初夜,年逾四十的xinghe吸了一  |║I

    |  |║ ▃」▃    ▃    ▃         口烟,沉思良久,开口了:昨天晚上…… ╔ |╝|

    I  |║|_ ┃ |\||||-      I                         by yutourr    ║_|  I

    |  |║     ▔    ▔    ▔      |                                       ║-62-|

    |  ―【Clan3.星河 】―――― | ――――――――――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════════════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                                            __                 ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝      ___      _      ___       _           __╲>_                 ︶ I

    ║|        _  \     \__╱  _\      \╲         ╲ _ _\                 ╰|

    ║|      /_ │    |\╱ |\_       |         |_/>___              ║|I

    ║|      |<_  /          ╱ _ \      |___   ╱|∠    _  \             ║||

    ║|       /\_|\\    /︳ /</︳ __╱ ___/   /  |__|╱              _|I

    ║|  祝   \︹  <_    \▏ \_╱ ︳ \_      |\∠  _ \               |  |

    ║|      __<_  ___\  \╱   _╱/   ___//  \╲    \|\╱               |║I

    ║|      \___╱        \/    \╱    \_╱    \_︳     |                  |║|

    ║|                            __                    │|                  |║I

    ║|                      |_╱  \       |\_ __ ∠╲  \|\_              |║|

    ║|                    __||_\_/|_    /\|∠\▕\>|∠   /\|∠   |\\      |║I

    ╚|_           ____    \_  / </_ \   \∕ //∠ _ \  \∕ /_|\||│     |║|

    I╚|╗    ___╱ ___╲    ||\<_\_|│ _╱ |/\|\|_╱ |\_  >/>|│     |║I

    |  |║    ╱ ̄   ╱   ∕ >|||│ \_/||\_﹨-_ \_/||  |/| ∠│     |║|

    I  |║                  ||<  /|│   |_│|__|︺ \  ||\\| |│     |║I

    |  |║                   || \| \|_|│   \ |╲∕\_╱ ̄   |\<//_|│  ╔ |╝|

    I  |║                   |/      ╲/     |/              |/      ╲/   ║_|  I

    |  |║                                                                 ║-63-|

    |  ―【在线玩家】 ―――――― | ――――――――――――――――――――――|

    I    _|╔══════════════════════════════╰( ╭) I

    |  _|╔╝                                                               ╰(╯|

    ╔|═╝                                                                   ︶ I

    ║|        背景台词:二十年后,又是一条好汉。                              ╰|

    ║|                                                                       ║|I

    ║|            ╲  |  ╱   .   ·       .                                 ║||

    ║|                _              .   .  ·                                _|I

    ║|      - ┈─  · ─┈┈┈  - .       ·                            |  |

    ║|       .       _ ︳  .                                                 |║I

    ║|           . /╰,\     _   __          || 草头天子 |ap9   biancr     |║|

    ║|    ·   _   \╯ /   // \╱/╲╲                      mmzt  Yvt        |║I

    ║|      ╱ ̄╲_ | ││ -    - ﹨\                     isava Jobs       |║|

    ║|     / ╱`\  ▕  /"-'"-|│                    yoo   yyzt       |║I

    ╚|_   ˊ   ╲_ ╱ |_\    |′                                     |║|

    I╚|╗│/︵          |/|| `|_╱ │      || 年刊大将 |yyzt             |║I

    |  |║ ︶  |/        ﹨ ‵     ︳                                     |║|

    I  |║     ˋ\|          \ ╲ /   /ヽ     ||  油漆匠  |percyshelley     |║I

    |  |║        ╲         \\  \    ︳ \                                 ╔ |╝|

    I  |║          ˋ _∕    │  \  │   \                                ║_|  I

    |  |║               |    │     │   │                               ║-64-|

    2012-05-22
  • Re: 13个人投票

    这张专辑都不好听

    【 在 lovehaddison (囧 | 我也要做非大的脑残粉) 的大作中提到: 】

    : 反正人气这么低,回头再开个投票……

    2012-05-11
  • Re: 诚征版三!

    路过踩下

    【 在 lovehaddison (囧 | 我也要做非大的脑残粉) 的大作中提到: 】

    : RT

    : 要求:

    : 1. 杰迷

    : ...................

    2012-05-10
  • [万特:紧急求助]如何低格SATA硬盘

    att

    手头有一批SATA硬盘需要进行低格,可是lformat无法识别到这些硬盘,0123四个选项都

    认不到硬盘。

    BIOS里的SATA选项有IDE MODE和AHCL MODE,试过了都不行。

    2012-05-04
  • Re: 领导又闹笑话了

    laf

    【 在 G42 (雪莱|RYGH) 的大作中提到: 】

    : 很没品的爆一个领导的笑话

    : 话说那天上午正在开会,突然听到一记响声,接着看到领导捻起湿漉漉的手机。

    : 当时领导周围的人哄堂大笑,还奇怪呢,不就是打翻杯子浸湿手机么,值得这么

    : ...................

    2012-04-18
  • Re: [AR JOKE][原创]为什么没人回我的e帖子捏?都不喜欢么?[分

    精神分裂。。。

    【 在 amosryan (Ryan) 的大作中提到: 】

    : JOKE不“就是靠e”么?

    : J:“就”是也

    : O:“是”是也——传仓颉不会写S,画圈替代……另一说o乃虚词、表长音……

    : ...................

    2012-04-12
  • Re: 我被封了

    12点了,要现出原形了。

    【 在 xinghe (星河) 的大作中提到: 】

    2012-04-10
  • Re: aardwolf 由 mars 授予 XiaoHeiWu 俱乐部读取权限

    wsn得贴2张

    【 在 aardwolf (小狼) 的大作中提到: 】

    : wsn一枚,也要贴PP?

    2012-04-03
  • 爆料:搓妹是蕾丝边!

    【 在 cu0 (多看了你一眼) 的大作中提到: 】

    : 真实原因是我在一次抢妹纸活动中光荣负伤,于是被请去喝茶,接着参加职代会和党代会这"两会"去了

    2012-04-01
  • Re: 太无聊了

    想摸个一筒!

    【 在 LSA (强势围观) 的大作中提到: 】

    : 凑几个人来打麻将吧

    2012-03-28
  • Re: 有人没~~~~~

    咖啡厅还卖咖喱蟹啊。。这么混搭

    【 在 percyshelley (Can Spring Be Far Behind@rygh) 的大作中提到: 】

    : 还不如花钱跑到咖啡厅里吃一顿烂得要命的咖喱蟹。。。

    2012-03-06
  • #3月微笑话#打压房价的原因是学雷锋

    志强是KFS,学雷锋要求“立场坚定斗志强”。

    2012-03-05
  • Re: Jagbin 由 cu0 授予 XiaoHeiWu 俱乐部读取权限

    横刀夺PP

    【 在 mars (马四儿) 的大作中提到: 】

    : 为虾米是骗,而不是巧取豪夺?

    2012-03-02
  • Re: Jagbin 由 cu0 授予 XiaoHeiWu 俱乐部读取权限

    听说srddd要tpp了,赶紧来围观。

    【 在 Jagbin (Oh! Small Red Diamond!) 的大作中提到: 】

    : 哇,I am back!

    2012-03-01